I believe everything in life can be related to biology in some way.
Just like relationships are like the nutrient absorption of an aquatic ecosystem.
When it’s oligotrophic, there’s not enough nutrients so the succession of species is too slow. There’s not enough love and time in a relationship so it grows slowly and just fades off.
When it’s eutrophic, there’s too many nutrients. This causes the succession to occur too quickly and a gross layer of algae covers the water’s surface. Too much love makes a relationship move too fast so the flame burns out.
When it’s mesotrophic, there’s just the right amount of nutrients to support the existing species and allow more to come in. When the love is just enough plus some growing room, the relationship lasts much longer with more depth.
I am not the type of person that can be thrown into something. When shopping in a different clothing store for the first time, I will be slow and cautious. I look everywhere and try to understand how the clothes are organized, where the sales racks are, how the district manager for the store wants it to flow. I rarely pick things up and look at them. Typically, I’ll be there for three minutes and then leave. If I go with a friend who is experienced in that store, I’m more at ease. I follow them and see what they’re looking at.
With music, I can’t be given an album and be expected to just listen to it and soak up which ones I like. I will avoid certain songs and never listen to them. Sometimes, I’ll find a few songs by an artist that I like. I’ll listen to them until I can sing along, and then I’ll add in new songs by the same artist. Otherwise, I feel lost and I like simply knowing things.
Knowledge is the key to who I am as a person. If I have facts and can understand things, be it someone’s actions or an album or a piece of art, I will be okay.
"I cannot stand small talk, because I feel like there’s an elephant standing in the room shitting all over everything and nobody is saying anything. I’m just dying to say, “Hey, do you ever feel like jumping off a bridge?” or “Do you feel an emptiness inside your chest at night that is going to swallow you?” But you can’t say that at a cocktail party. "
And I remember when I met him, it was so clear that
he was the only one for me. We both knew it, right away.
And as the years went on, things got more difficult —
we were faced with more challenges. I begged him to stay.
Try to remember what we had at the beginning.
He was charismatic, magnetic, electric and everybody knew it.
When he walked in every woman’s head turned,
everyone stood up to talk to him. He was like this hybrid,
this mix of a man who couldn’t contain himself.
I always got the sense that he became torn between being
a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities
that life could offer a man as magnificent as him.
And in that way I understood him and I loved him.
I loved him, I loved him, I loved him.
And I still love him."
After all the shit, after all this time, after all the harsh words, after all the fear, after all the rejection, after all the fights, I still love you. I miss you so much still. Our communication is still nonverbal. When something starts going wrong in my life, I still have the first urge to go to you. Still. When will this go away? I love you, yet you claim you don’t love me. If you didn’t love me, you would be able to be nice to me. It wouldn’t bother you that you think every time I talk to you, I want to be FWBs again. Any other guy would jump at the chance. But not you. I feel like you still care. That you try to check for warning signs. I was sick last year, and I know you were probably freaked the fuck out. I’ve felt that same feeling with someone else. It manages to hurt you when a person you love so much simply cannot love themself. It makes you feel as though your love for them is not real. Then you start to believe your connection to them isn’t real. I understand that feeling. I still believe in maybe one day. We are water and sodium. And at the perfect timing, that fire can be oh so great.
When her smile is as pure as her heart, and her strengths outnumber her fears. When her beauty outshines the world. When she picks herself up when she falls. The way she makes sure she gets what she deserves and the way she gives more than she gets. That’s when a girl is beautiful. Her clothes shouldn’t make her beautiful neither should her make-up. She doesn’t need plastic surgery to fix what she thinks is wrong. She shouldn’t have to impress and she shouldn’t have to be more than what she already is
i feel like i’m about to fall apart. or like one foot has just slipped off the edge of a cliff? cause you know the second that your heart stops beating when your foot slips? i feel like that all the time.
you disappoint me. you said you would start telling me stuff. you said you would be here for me. you said all of these different things to make me feel better, but now i feel like they’re all lies. i’m just tired of it. i wasn’t mad at you anymore either. and i’m not trying to fight. but if i don’t tell you, i think i might explode. i feel like you treat me like shit. you don’t try to make me feel better. i’ve cried myself to sleep the past two nights and have only eaten two “meals” in the past week. i’m destroying myself and you’re simply watching.